Stressed out!

I know having kids is never easy but I have to complain a little b/c I feel like a bad mom. Lucas and Delilah are driving me insane on a daily basis. I so look forward to when they are at school but those days go by so quickly for me. All I get is crying, whining and fighting and it's really pushing me over the edge. All parents get frustrated and stressed I know but I am having a hard time dealing with it lately. I have brought my concerns up with my "special dr" and I got upped in meds but so far I don't think it's doing the trick and she needs to do something else before I lose it completely. I think it might be time for a change in meds as much as I don't like that prospect. I hate switching meds around not knowing if it's going to work or not. I do not think increasing doses over and over really works for me but she continues to do that anyway. I feel like I don't get taken seriously...not by my husband, kids or dr. What the hell is wrong with people? I am sick and I am tired of it all really I need a break. I am going to Disney World with a friend toward the end of the month me and Hunter and I can't wait. Until then I am going to try not to lose my mind.

Potty training, summer etc...

How is everyong doing? We are well here in Virginia Beach. Having a boring summer really. We went to Ohio the beginning of July. One of Danny's uncles died so we had to move up our trip a few days earlier than planned. Lots of fighting ensued with just about everyone when we were there it was just nuts. Anyway things are back to normal now. Lucas and Delilah are potty trained. Last week I put them in undies and tried to give it a go. They lasted to about 10am and wanted diapers back. I said fine they aren't ready and was gonna stop and try again in a week or two. Well the next day they wanted undies on and have been in them ever since. We have put pullups on at night but they wake up dry almost all the time anyway but atleast it's not diapers. We went to the park today underwear and they did good. Lucas got his speech eval for the public school system last week. I won't find out if he got in until Aug 11. I kind of hope they tell me he is fine and doesn't need it. I just don't want to deal with the hassle of whole thing. However if he needs then he will do it and I will do it b/c it's needed. My niece has been down with us this summer. Hunter has enjoyed having her around with us. She's a good kid. My parents are going to be coming down to get her at the end of the week and staying a few days. We all know how that goes when they are here lol. Anyway that's what's been going on here at my house.

We did it!

After almost of 3 yrs in cribs I finally put Lucas and Delilah in toddler beds. I thought their cribs converted to toddler beds but found out they did not so we went and let them pick out their new bed. Delilah picked a Disney Princess bed and Lucas picked a Diego bed. After putting them together they were excited to get in there. I went over the rules a few times: Don't get up till mommy gets you up, no jumping on them etc.. They went to bed just fine and I had to go in a few times b /c Lucas wanted to get up but he didn't. I am proud of them they stayed in bed!! Now let's see how nap time goes today I hope it's as easy as bedtime wish me luck!

Car issues..

So my car has been having issues for a little bit now. It will start missing and the engine light comes on. Before I can get it into the shop it stops and goes back to normal. Ok thought we got a bad batch of gas or something and Danny put some gas cleaner stuff in and it's been fine....until this weekend. It starts again. Danny thinks it's the spark plugs maybe and could use a tune up he got the stuff and was going to do it..well he never did. I got us an appt for the shop today and it went in. He gets off work to take it in at 9:30 and our appt was for 10. It takes them 2 hrs to figure out what was wrong...the spark plug coils which Danny did mention it could be btw. Only one of them was bad but the mechanic said they usually go in succession so we should probably replace them all. THATS 6 OF THEM! Danny thought this was was probably best as well. So they list other things we needed to probably do to the tune or $1500! WTF!! After a heartattack we talk it out and do all the coils and wait on the rest. I mean we don't have that much money to do all of it at one time and he did say some of it he can do himself. I will have to keep after him to do it otherwise it won't get done or have it done myself.  So anyway we have extended warranty on the van and only one of the coils was being covered and had to pay like $425 for the other ones. Today has just been a long day  I can wait for it to be over. 

I feel like I am in a funk and can't find a way to dig out of it. I am trying to be active but last minute I cancel b/c I just can't be fucked lol. I am going to work on that and make myself do it. 

My trip to Cali...

So after having my flight cancelled not once but twice last week for weather I made it to Cali and back with only a bit of turbulance thrown in. Now how in the hell I had myself conviced this trip was going to be awsome and I was somewhat nervous about leaving the family. I was READY to go. Getting through the cancellations was tedious and time consuming but it was all worth it b/c I was getting a break. After flying on 3 planes to get there I arrived in Monterey with Kim waiting for me. After taking forever to get my bag we start driving through these quaint little streets and it was so green. Ahhhh I miss the west coast for this reason. Washington state was beautiful and I miss it. Anyway....The area there is just gorgeous and I always looked around and stuff when driving just admiring the way the town looked. It was rainy when I got there but that was ok it was a long flight and I wanted to relax so we did it was cool. I walked in and felt myself sigh......I was having a mommy break and it was real I could relax for a couple days stress free. It really was a gift I had been given. Wed we went to Carmel and it looked just as quaint and we looked around these high priced shops and just chatted. It was so great and I got some souviners for the fam and stuff. It was really nice to just browse and weather was great. I noticed my urine looked a bit dark that morning but shrugged it off thinking I needed to drink some water. I had been dehydrated and sucking down Pepsi...yes I know. So I thought mybe aunt flo was on her way and mentioned I may need to hit Walgreens or something. That night Iend up with the tattoo. Yes I got one on my foot. I thought why the hell not I had been wanting one and I was easily seduced on mommy freedom for a day already. It did hurt but not as bad as I thought it might so that was cool. Kim and I have matching tattoo's of a lady bug as you can see. That guy is the tattoo artist who did both of us. I was having a great time! Thurs woke up sluggish and felt tired but duh I was waking at 5:30 am PST so that had to be it. We were going to the aquarium and do some other stuff. So we did some more shopping I had to get serious about getting gifts for my brood. Found some great stuff on http://http//www.canneryrow.com/ . Picked up the kids and went to lunch at Taco bell then to the aquarium. While there started to feel a little sick but hell I was thinking it was the food and hell I am out of shape I have been doing alot of walking etc...Get back to Kim's and wonder if I need to use the potty. I do but my back had begun to hurt. Well take some tylenol and it doesn't get better then I throw up. Ok something's not right and my stomach had started hurting too. Shit I bet I have a UTI I need to hit the ER. I am trying to put it off but I couldn't for much longer and Kim convinced me to go in. After putting the kid's to bed we went. I was in a lot of pain by this point. We get processed through and in a room and get informed that maybe it's a kidney stone. I thought no way maybe a kidney infection! I won't go into the horrors of that night. Mainly b/c I was out it with pain and then the drugs. Kim did awsome by my side. She stayed with me when I know she wanted to be home in bed and I wanted to be too. She got on the nurses and got smart with him they had a love/hate relationship and she tried to make me feel better and helped me in so many ways. Thanks Kim you are always helping me. You have to let me return the favor.

After a CT Scan I do have a 2mm kidney stone and will pass it. Yippeefuckinghoo I have a kidney stone. I get more drugs and out the door where we groggily made it to get my meds. I floated my way through the whole thing and got home to bed. The stone must have been moving b/c I had some of the worst pain of my life Friday but I was taking those meds like prescribed still had a lot of pain. I felt it drop into my bladder Friday evening and the pain switched to a dull throb and my bladder now hurt and I couldn't pee well. Shit did I have to go back to the ER for a cath? I hated to do that to Kim. I had slept most of the day away already and was still sick and throwing up and couldn't eat. It was horrible I felt so bad for being sick and doing that to her already. But I felt a little better by evening and made the attempt to be normal. After kicking their butt in WII bowling woohoo. I did head to bed as I had to be up early for the trip home the next day. I did pass the little piece of gravel which is what it looked like about 1:30 am so I was thrilled about not having to worry about that on my flights home. I was still a little sore though but nothing like before. I am so tired as I get on my little plane to LA where I had to sit for like 4 hours before my next flight. I was starving and I ate and shopped a little but all I wanted to do was take a nap. I tried for a little while until about 2 hrs before the flight and the area started to get filled with other passengers for the flight. A LONG couple of flights later I make it home. After some much needed time away I was glad to be home. So back to the grind here for me.

Thank you Kim for letting me come and again I am sorry I got a kidney stone but I had a great time with you guys. I can't wait for you to move back here!!

I had my ultrasound for my thryroid and am doing the bloodwork now. I will update you all when I find out about all that stuff. I go next week for that.

Love to you all

Let the countdown begin....sorta

I am a little behind with the posting but I only have 2 days to go until I leave for CA to visit Kim. I so excited I can't wait. My mom continues to try and make me feel bad for going. I am staying strong! Of course now though we may get some snow and I am worried that my flight will be delayed if that is the case. I hope we don't get any so I can get going. I am not looking forward to the flight really. It's long and I have to change planes a few times. Second guessing my choice of seating. I requested aisle seats but maybe I should have asked for window seating. IDK I guess it doesn't really matter. And for some reason I am worried about flying. In part b/c of my mom bringing up every bad thing that has happened lately and in part of everything that has happened lately. I know I will be ok so I will deal and take my mind of it.

I had an Endocronologist appt the other day for my PCOS. I have paperwork to get a crap ton of blood taken. Which has to wait till I get back and I don't think the dr liked that but oh well she will have to deal with it. Anyway I have it set up to do it when I get back. She also wants me to have an ultrasound on my thyroid b/c she thinks it could be enlarged or have nodules on it. Amd since I can't get rid of the PCOS I need to think about what I want to fix in the bigger picture if my cholesterol is high or pre diabetes or the facial hair or something like that. I was like WTF? To much to think about that is for sure. I will keep you all updated
I probably won't update before I leave but have a good week everyone!

How do you.....

How do you go from an A in math to a D within a couple of weeks? Let's ask Hunter! I get a call from the math teacher today and he is concerned about Hunter and wanted to know if something is going on. Ummm no what would be going on. I felt like a dirty old mom or something they way he asked. Maybe he was uncomfortable b/c Hunter gave nothing away when he was asked the same question from the teacher. Anyway I assured him things were fine. Apparently Hunter is not asking questions when he is confused about something at school and just goes on his merry old way. Also he' s not turning in homework. Now I know he does it here at the house but who knows what happens to it when he gets out of the house! So I wrote notes to his teachers and asked questions and made comments about some of the things that Hunter has said. Like the math teacher acts angry and the other one yells all the time. WTF! So I brought it up in the note. I am sure I will get a call or something tomorrow from Mrs Caretti the alleged yeller about that. I don't want to embarrass him in case he is lying but I need to get to the bottom of this now b/c of the call from the math teacher. Tonight Danny sat with him and helped with the homework and he said Hunter didn't know what he was doing and was just writing stuff down. He has never asked for help so we assumed he was doing ok. His grades were great he got all A's on his report like 2 weeks ago and all of a sudded a D. It's insane is what it is. I hope I made the right decision and I hope Hunter gets over this being afraid to ask questions shit. Otherwise the rest of his schooling we are going to be SOL for.