Stressed out!

I know having kids is never easy but I have to complain a little b/c I feel like a bad mom. Lucas and Delilah are driving me insane on a daily basis. I so look forward to when they are at school but those days go by so quickly for me. All I get is crying, whining and fighting and it's really pushing me over the edge. All parents get frustrated and stressed I know but I am having a hard time dealing with it lately. I have brought my concerns up with my "special dr" and I got upped in meds but so far I don't think it's doing the trick and she needs to do something else before I lose it completely. I think it might be time for a change in meds as much as I don't like that prospect. I hate switching meds around not knowing if it's going to work or not. I do not think increasing doses over and over really works for me but she continues to do that anyway. I feel like I don't get taken seriously...not by my husband, kids or dr. What the hell is wrong with people? I am sick and I am tired of it all really I need a break. I am going to Disney World with a friend toward the end of the month me and Hunter and I can't wait. Until then I am going to try not to lose my mind.

Potty training, summer etc...

How is everyong doing? We are well here in Virginia Beach. Having a boring summer really. We went to Ohio the beginning of July. One of Danny's uncles died so we had to move up our trip a few days earlier than planned. Lots of fighting ensued with just about everyone when we were there it was just nuts. Anyway things are back to normal now. Lucas and Delilah are potty trained. Last week I put them in undies and tried to give it a go. They lasted to about 10am and wanted diapers back. I said fine they aren't ready and was gonna stop and try again in a week or two. Well the next day they wanted undies on and have been in them ever since. We have put pullups on at night but they wake up dry almost all the time anyway but atleast it's not diapers. We went to the park today underwear and they did good. Lucas got his speech eval for the public school system last week. I won't find out if he got in until Aug 11. I kind of hope they tell me he is fine and doesn't need it. I just don't want to deal with the hassle of whole thing. However if he needs then he will do it and I will do it b/c it's needed. My niece has been down with us this summer. Hunter has enjoyed having her around with us. She's a good kid. My parents are going to be coming down to get her at the end of the week and staying a few days. We all know how that goes when they are here lol. Anyway that's what's been going on here at my house.

We did it!

After almost of 3 yrs in cribs I finally put Lucas and Delilah in toddler beds. I thought their cribs converted to toddler beds but found out they did not so we went and let them pick out their new bed. Delilah picked a Disney Princess bed and Lucas picked a Diego bed. After putting them together they were excited to get in there. I went over the rules a few times: Don't get up till mommy gets you up, no jumping on them etc.. They went to bed just fine and I had to go in a few times b /c Lucas wanted to get up but he didn't. I am proud of them they stayed in bed!! Now let's see how nap time goes today I hope it's as easy as bedtime wish me luck!

Car issues..

So my car has been having issues for a little bit now. It will start missing and the engine light comes on. Before I can get it into the shop it stops and goes back to normal. Ok thought we got a bad batch of gas or something and Danny put some gas cleaner stuff in and it's been fine....until this weekend. It starts again. Danny thinks it's the spark plugs maybe and could use a tune up he got the stuff and was going to do it..well he never did. I got us an appt for the shop today and it went in. He gets off work to take it in at 9:30 and our appt was for 10. It takes them 2 hrs to figure out what was wrong...the spark plug coils which Danny did mention it could be btw. Only one of them was bad but the mechanic said they usually go in succession so we should probably replace them all. THATS 6 OF THEM! Danny thought this was was probably best as well. So they list other things we needed to probably do to the tune or $1500! WTF!! After a heartattack we talk it out and do all the coils and wait on the rest. I mean we don't have that much money to do all of it at one time and he did say some of it he can do himself. I will have to keep after him to do it otherwise it won't get done or have it done myself.  So anyway we have extended warranty on the van and only one of the coils was being covered and had to pay like $425 for the other ones. Today has just been a long day  I can wait for it to be over. 

I feel like I am in a funk and can't find a way to dig out of it. I am trying to be active but last minute I cancel b/c I just can't be fucked lol. I am going to work on that and make myself do it. 

My trip to Cali...

So after having my flight cancelled not once but twice last week for weather I made it to Cali and back with only a bit of turbulance thrown in. Now how in the hell I had myself conviced this trip was going to be awsome and I was somewhat nervous about leaving the family. I was READY to go. Getting through the cancellations was tedious and time consuming but it was all worth it b/c I was getting a break. After flying on 3 planes to get there I arrived in Monterey with Kim waiting for me. After taking forever to get my bag we start driving through these quaint little streets and it was so green. Ahhhh I miss the west coast for this reason. Washington state was beautiful and I miss it. Anyway....The area there is just gorgeous and I always looked around and stuff when driving just admiring the way the town looked. It was rainy when I got there but that was ok it was a long flight and I wanted to relax so we did it was cool. I walked in and felt myself sigh......I was having a mommy break and it was real I could relax for a couple days stress free. It really was a gift I had been given. Wed we went to Carmel and it looked just as quaint and we looked around these high priced shops and just chatted. It was so great and I got some souviners for the fam and stuff. It was really nice to just browse and weather was great. I noticed my urine looked a bit dark that morning but shrugged it off thinking I needed to drink some water. I had been dehydrated and sucking down Pepsi...yes I know. So I thought mybe aunt flo was on her way and mentioned I may need to hit Walgreens or something. That night Iend up with the tattoo. Yes I got one on my foot. I thought why the hell not I had been wanting one and I was easily seduced on mommy freedom for a day already. It did hurt but not as bad as I thought it might so that was cool. Kim and I have matching tattoo's of a lady bug as you can see. That guy is the tattoo artist who did both of us. I was having a great time! Thurs woke up sluggish and felt tired but duh I was waking at 5:30 am PST so that had to be it. We were going to the aquarium and do some other stuff. So we did some more shopping I had to get serious about getting gifts for my brood. Found some great stuff on http://http//www.canneryrow.com/ . Picked up the kids and went to lunch at Taco bell then to the aquarium. While there started to feel a little sick but hell I was thinking it was the food and hell I am out of shape I have been doing alot of walking etc...Get back to Kim's and wonder if I need to use the potty. I do but my back had begun to hurt. Well take some tylenol and it doesn't get better then I throw up. Ok something's not right and my stomach had started hurting too. Shit I bet I have a UTI I need to hit the ER. I am trying to put it off but I couldn't for much longer and Kim convinced me to go in. After putting the kid's to bed we went. I was in a lot of pain by this point. We get processed through and in a room and get informed that maybe it's a kidney stone. I thought no way maybe a kidney infection! I won't go into the horrors of that night. Mainly b/c I was out it with pain and then the drugs. Kim did awsome by my side. She stayed with me when I know she wanted to be home in bed and I wanted to be too. She got on the nurses and got smart with him they had a love/hate relationship and she tried to make me feel better and helped me in so many ways. Thanks Kim you are always helping me. You have to let me return the favor.

After a CT Scan I do have a 2mm kidney stone and will pass it. Yippeefuckinghoo I have a kidney stone. I get more drugs and out the door where we groggily made it to get my meds. I floated my way through the whole thing and got home to bed. The stone must have been moving b/c I had some of the worst pain of my life Friday but I was taking those meds like prescribed still had a lot of pain. I felt it drop into my bladder Friday evening and the pain switched to a dull throb and my bladder now hurt and I couldn't pee well. Shit did I have to go back to the ER for a cath? I hated to do that to Kim. I had slept most of the day away already and was still sick and throwing up and couldn't eat. It was horrible I felt so bad for being sick and doing that to her already. But I felt a little better by evening and made the attempt to be normal. After kicking their butt in WII bowling woohoo. I did head to bed as I had to be up early for the trip home the next day. I did pass the little piece of gravel which is what it looked like about 1:30 am so I was thrilled about not having to worry about that on my flights home. I was still a little sore though but nothing like before. I am so tired as I get on my little plane to LA where I had to sit for like 4 hours before my next flight. I was starving and I ate and shopped a little but all I wanted to do was take a nap. I tried for a little while until about 2 hrs before the flight and the area started to get filled with other passengers for the flight. A LONG couple of flights later I make it home. After some much needed time away I was glad to be home. So back to the grind here for me.

Thank you Kim for letting me come and again I am sorry I got a kidney stone but I had a great time with you guys. I can't wait for you to move back here!!

I had my ultrasound for my thryroid and am doing the bloodwork now. I will update you all when I find out about all that stuff. I go next week for that.

Love to you all

Let the countdown begin....sorta

I am a little behind with the posting but I only have 2 days to go until I leave for CA to visit Kim. I so excited I can't wait. My mom continues to try and make me feel bad for going. I am staying strong! Of course now though we may get some snow and I am worried that my flight will be delayed if that is the case. I hope we don't get any so I can get going. I am not looking forward to the flight really. It's long and I have to change planes a few times. Second guessing my choice of seating. I requested aisle seats but maybe I should have asked for window seating. IDK I guess it doesn't really matter. And for some reason I am worried about flying. In part b/c of my mom bringing up every bad thing that has happened lately and in part of everything that has happened lately. I know I will be ok so I will deal and take my mind of it.

I had an Endocronologist appt the other day for my PCOS. I have paperwork to get a crap ton of blood taken. Which has to wait till I get back and I don't think the dr liked that but oh well she will have to deal with it. Anyway I have it set up to do it when I get back. She also wants me to have an ultrasound on my thyroid b/c she thinks it could be enlarged or have nodules on it. Amd since I can't get rid of the PCOS I need to think about what I want to fix in the bigger picture if my cholesterol is high or pre diabetes or the facial hair or something like that. I was like WTF? To much to think about that is for sure. I will keep you all updated
I probably won't update before I leave but have a good week everyone!

How do you.....

How do you go from an A in math to a D within a couple of weeks? Let's ask Hunter! I get a call from the math teacher today and he is concerned about Hunter and wanted to know if something is going on. Ummm no what would be going on. I felt like a dirty old mom or something they way he asked. Maybe he was uncomfortable b/c Hunter gave nothing away when he was asked the same question from the teacher. Anyway I assured him things were fine. Apparently Hunter is not asking questions when he is confused about something at school and just goes on his merry old way. Also he' s not turning in homework. Now I know he does it here at the house but who knows what happens to it when he gets out of the house! So I wrote notes to his teachers and asked questions and made comments about some of the things that Hunter has said. Like the math teacher acts angry and the other one yells all the time. WTF! So I brought it up in the note. I am sure I will get a call or something tomorrow from Mrs Caretti the alleged yeller about that. I don't want to embarrass him in case he is lying but I need to get to the bottom of this now b/c of the call from the math teacher. Tonight Danny sat with him and helped with the homework and he said Hunter didn't know what he was doing and was just writing stuff down. He has never asked for help so we assumed he was doing ok. His grades were great he got all A's on his report like 2 weeks ago and all of a sudded a D. It's insane is what it is. I hope I made the right decision and I hope Hunter gets over this being afraid to ask questions shit. Otherwise the rest of his schooling we are going to be SOL for.

Happy Valentines Day!

Today was Valentines Day and I hope everyone had a good one. Danny got me a massage gift certifate and it couldn't have come at a better time. My back has been tight and bothering me for a little while now. I made an appt already for Tues to go in and have one done. I am glad abou that. I racked my brain all week trying to figure out something to get him and couldn't come up with anything. Luckily today he went out and bought himself a video game. All in all it was a good day today.

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend and Happy Valentines Day to all my wonderful friends!

California here I come!

I got my plane ticket today for my trip to see Kim. We assume Danny got leave and pretty sure he did and the ticket prices kept going up so he told me to get it. I can't wait I am so excited!

Hunter made...

Hunter made the honor roll and Principals list. He is so excited he gets to have lunch with the principal again. Ah to think that is cool in grade school lol. We are so proud of him. We took him to TRU and he got a scooter. I hope he rides it :) d

Families suck sometimes

So Danny put his leave chit in today to see if he can get it so I can go to see Kim in CA but my mom is throwing a huge fit. She doesn't think I should go and leave the kids here with Danny. Because I am with them all the time she doesn't think he can take care of them. I was like WTF!?!?! It's so annoying that she is such a downer but I am not listening to her I am going to go anyway if Danny gets leave. If Danny didn't think he could handle it he would tell me and he said it's fine for me to go and things would be cool. So now I get to listen to her when I talk to her until after I get back and she sees things are fine. UGHHH why do families suck sometimes? It's like I get to have no fun or a life or anything b/c I am a mom and that is not the case. I know I will miss them but I need time away and when Danny goes back to sea duty he will be gone and I will take care of the kids with no help. I don't see what the difference is really between him and me. Once she saw the guilt card wasn't going to work she tried the well we were "thinking" of coming to see you around that time. She then said for her birthday which isn't till the 15th anyway I told her she was lieing she didn't admit to it but I know she was. Then she started on "aren't you afraid to fly" Umm no not really. I finally got off the phone. UGHHHHHHH! It's neverending and she is so freaking negative about everything it drives me crazy sometimes it really does and today is one of those days I guess.

News/update

So today I got some news that was great! I may get to go visit a friend in CA for a few days and get this...WITH NO KIDS!! The hell you say! I know if Danny can get the time off he doesn't care if I go. And the tickets aren't that bad priced either. I hope it works out I could use the break and it will be good to see Kim I have missed her. Plus I get to go to CALIFORNIA! I have been there of course lived in San Diego but this is Monteray somewhere different and I am sure beautiful if what I hear is true. I have the best husband in the whole world I mean come on he's great isn't he. I am so excited fingers crossed that it all works out for me.

Things have been going ok here. Got our taxes filed and getting those back soon so that makes me happy. Of course we are mostly paying bills with it but that's ok it has to happen I guess. I was going to put Lucas and Lilah in a MDO program but I think I will wait till fall to do that and hopefully some future plans pan out for us so we can. I need a day off sometimes and they need the interaction with other kids. Lucas talked to my mom tonight and she said he is talking better she understood almost everything he said. That is good to hear that from another person. I am with him all the time so I don't really grasp the subtle changes but others are starting to so that is good.

Had a playdate and it was good. A nice turnout and we all had a good time. Lucas and Delilah were played out b/c they took an excellant nap this afternoon it was awsome. They haven't slept that well in a long time and Lucas wasn't even awake at 3 :30 when I went in there to wake them. Tomorrow we might go to the mall and play for a bit and have lunch. My days go by so much fasther when there is something to do in the mornings. My only problem is waiting around till it's time to go at 10:00 or so. It really drives me crazy sometimes. But oh well it's ok I will deal and enjoy my time out.

Hunter is doing good he is goin to be 10 soon. I really can't believe it he's going to be 10! Where has the time gone? For the past 3yrs it's been about the twins: getting pg with them, danny being gone, having them, me having c section issues. Time has just flown by. In 6 short years he will be wanting to drive. In 8 he will be off to college. My baby is growing so fast and nothing I can do can stop it. Ahhhhhh....

I would like to have him a birthday party so we will see.

That is how we are doing right now and what's going on. Till next time see you on the flip side.

Friends....where are they?

So I have been brooding today and in a mood. Why various reasons really but one of them is not having any friends. I have been stuck home with the kids most days and it's really getting to me. I have some friends who live out of state but I NEED friends near by too and it's just not happening. Sure I have acquatiences but I need some real friends. The dictionary describes friend as one attached to another by affection or esteem, a favored companion. I know a few ppl that would fit into that but they don't seem to want to be that way with me. Is it b/c they don't have the time, don't need anymore friends or what? Maybe it's just me. Clay keeps telling me that I am a good person blah blah blah but holy shit where are the friends if all that is true? I am so lonely and bored to death I don't know what to do with myself most days. Is my kids that bad that noone wants us around? I don't ever get invited over to anyone's house and I get left out of plans for other stuff in the groups I am in. It's depressing and really bothering me lately. I really don't know what to do. I can keep going like Clay says I should but sometimes I just don't feel like it. It's so hard to make friends as it is add everything else in it's almost impossible. I have to get a grip on myself and start over and try to make some friends yet again. I feel like I do this all the freaking time but nothing ever pans out. I feel like I have some good qualties as a friend ppl just have to take the time to get to know me to find out for themselves. Don't write me off I am a person too who needs friends and comapionship damnit!!!! I can't be the only one in this type of situation. So what do you do? I have joined playgroups and put myself out there. I even posted on Craigslist looking for friends. I know desperate but I guess I am for some friendships lol.

When does it become time.....

When is it time to give something up? Is there ever a right time? Do you just know that it's time to part ways with a friend, an object or obsession? I think there comes a time when you look at a friend or something else and just know it's time to move on. I think I have come to this crossroad myself. The friendship has run it's course and it's not going to be a parting of ways in a mean way b/c that is just not who I am. If this person calls I will talk to them for however long they talk but my loyalty and trust won't be there I don't think. People drift apart and in and out of your lives all the time. I think for a reason and it comes to a point sometimes you just have to let go. This happened with a friend I had in WA when we lived there we depened on each other b/c Danny was gone all the time and I was alone with Hunter and she was alone with twins. We had a lot of good times and she was a friend to me when I needed one the most. We no longer speak and have lost contact with each other but I won't forget her. I guess some people come in touch your life and quietly leave your life touched forever.

xoxox

10 Surprising things about me

10 surprising things I bet you didn't know about me...Please feel free to repost it to your blog or comment it on it here. Thanks Katie for the idea.

1) I have never skiied. I always wanted to learn but never did. This includes water skiing.

2) I don't have a passport.

3) I didn't finish college.

4) I don't clean my window blinds.

5) I don't change my sheets as often as I should...or the kid's...I know I know I should be better at it.

6) I have broken my left wrist, my left leg and fractured my jaw.

7) I have only had one car accident and haven't been in any others.

8) I hate fish and the smell of it makes me sick to my stomach.

9) I only do laundry twice a week.

10) I got married when I was 18

Hi all

Not much has been going on lately obviously since I haven't been posting and all. They finally got finished with the flooring and we can resume our normal lives and get the house back together. Did all that now nothing....I tried to go to a playdate today but the playarea at the mall is closed so that didn't work out for me and I couldn't really go anywhere else b/c Hunter has half days all week at school. So we came home big fun for us. My house is full of static it's driving nuts. I sprayed some static guard around but it doesn't seem to last long. Any ideas on what I should do??

So all the flooring in the house is now done. I am still waiting for my cabinets in the kitchen. I will post some pictures and let you all see my new carpet and flooring in the kitchen. My bathroom downstairs is pretty much remolded completely. I hope this helps out when we decide to sell our house.

What is wrong with people today?

So I went grocery shopping at the commmissary today. And it was busy I expected that and the little old people were out in full force and so were the singles and families. I got to go alone which I don't do that often lately so I could get the max amount of coupons and save us some money. Anyway I try to be polite, stay out of other's way and in general mind my own business. However I do smile and make small talk if needed. So some lady and I were at the freezer case and I was waiting my turn. She turned and looked at me and I smiled. She gave me a stare and turned and left. No smile in return. What the hell is wrong with people today? Is it so hard to be nice to strangers when they are being nice to you? I wasn't doing anything wrong and was just standing there NOT IN HER WAY but still I got the look. I wonder if people are like that with me b/c I am overweight? This woman wasn't skinny herself so that would be a little hypocritical if that were the case. I just don't understand why people are so unfriendly. We are all going through tough times as a country and we are all stressed out but come on to not even acknowledge a friendly gesture that is just wrong. I try to do good things throughout the day letting someone in traffic or line and things like that and when someone does something nice for me I say thanks or way and acknowledge the good deed. There is just not enough niceness in the world anymore.....
And talk about food prices. What the hell happened there? I couldn't believe some of the prices at the store. I kind of long for the older days when things were much cheaper than they are now. Of course alot of convience wouldn't be there either I don't guess and I am pretty big on easy and convience at times. I am not one who can make biscuits from scratch everytime I get a craving for them or a cake everytime I want to bake one. Such is life I guess.

PCOS

This is what I have. It is an informative website. I am going to see an Endocronologist in Feb for this condition.


http://www.4woman.gov/faq/polycystic-ovary-syndrome.cfm

Update on the house project

Hello my wonderful friends out there in internet land. My day was fun and eventful as usual as a stay home mom. I got to leave the house today with the kids but that's ok. We went to the mall to play for a bit. It got super crowded and Lucas started to meltdown so we had to leave. It was ok he was much better after his nap. I now have carpet in most of the house except for the hall upstairs. They did painting and patchwork and trimming most of the day while the carpet guy did his thing. I was glad when they had a short day and left about 2:30. I want the work done and the house back to myself. I am tired of my stuff being everywhere but where it's supposed to be. They had to take out 2 cabinets so my food is sitting in a big box on the floor and my kitchen is just a mess with nowhere to put stuff. We did get the living room and dining room looking almost normal again. We decided not to put the rail back up between the living room and dining room. It looks different it will take some getting used to. They took it down to put the carpet on the step down and we decided not to put it back up.

I actually cooked a meal for dinner so after that we went and got the kid's hair cut. They all needed a cut so we had to shell out the money for that. They look much better though and they were pretty good for them so I can't complain much about it lol. Now we are just relaxing and having a drink and we get the weekend free before they come back to finish work on Monday. As for me I am heading to the grocery store tomorrow. I am sure it will be busy the Saturday after payday and all but it has to be done. I am going alone so I can make sure to use all the coupons that I can. It takes a bit longer so Danny is going to stay home with the kids. Lucas and Delilah get antsy sitting after a while and we can't let them out of the cart b/c they run and it's so busy at the commissary anyway most of the time. It's been so cold here like most of the east coast and mid west lately. Today especially so. I wish it would snow. Me and Katie was talking about it the other day about how the little ones don't really know what snow is. Hunter remembers it from when we were in Ohio once it snowed and he got to play in it. L and D know what snow is b/c of the tv but don't really understand that it's pretty to look at but cold to touch lol. Wishful thinking probably in VA since it might flurry but we don't get much else here except for those rare times. Obviously not any in the most recent years. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

We have new carpet...

In the living room and dining room we have the new carpet down. I like it, it looks really nice and they got it down pretty quickly I guess. However it didn't go fast enough. Me and the kids were upstairs the entire day that sucked royally. After a while they just was not happy being up there with me. Danny couldn't come home early today either for me to take them anywhere. And hoping they would nap well I put them down but they didn't. I know it was hard with all the banging and I don't think tomorrow is going to be any better they are doing the stairs and upstairs outside their room tomorrow. If they get that far tomorrow the one guy said they wouldn't be done till Monday. I just want it done and over with. My house is a disaster area but I atleast got my living room back in order. The rest of the downstairs not so much. I have to wait for them to put the cabinets back in the kitchen so I can put my food back up...And one of my drawers on my computer desk broke not sure if Danny can fix it. Today has just been a long day and I have had a headache with the kids not listening and just being bratty in general. I am ready for bed but watching tv will do I guess. I will post some pics of the new flooring when I take some..

Life right now...

So for those who don't know they are replacing my flooring in pretty much the whole house. This being due to overflowing toilet downstairs. The bathroom, entryway and part of the kitchen are done. It's a bit darker than what we had but I like it and I think it will go good with the carpet I picked out. The kids are being slightly a PITA. They like to escape the living room and try to get in the way. The workers went to lunch today and they had a field day with their shopping carts and toys in the kitchen. There is nothing in there really so they had free reing and being out of the living room and all. I am sure they are going stir crazy as am I being home all week and not doing anything fun. It's been cold or I would have took them to the park or it's been raining. It's always something I guess.

The Chiefs exam is upon us again. Danny takes it tomorrow. Wish him luck I am hoping this is our year as I do every year for the past few. We are going to put our house on the market again and give it another try on selling it. We have just outgrown our house here we need to move to something bigger. I don't know what we will do try housing or rent but I don't want to buy again. I know now is a good time and all but I just don't want to. It doesn't bother us really about putting it up b/c all I have to do is try to keep it clean which is a chore in itsself. However we do need something bigger so we have to try. That's an update on us for right now :)

New Blog

So everyone is jumping on the Blog bandwagon so I thought I would jump on too. I will try to update whenever I can or have something to say. Happy reading everyone!